CRUSHED…

Crushed

I have been working to get on a police agency for the last 15 months. Today I received a letter in the mail stating I had failed the psychological evaluation. I don’t exactly know how to feel about that. I have done so much and worked so hard to find out I failed.

I became frustrated and angry. Then I became upset and a bit sad. I feel that there is a reason I failed but no the psych reason. Maybe it is not my time. Maybe I need more time to prepare to be ready. I am sure I can figure it out.

I have 90 days to dispute the failure and be re-evaluated by a psychologist of my choosing. I will need to think about this and determine if this is the agency I want to continue to pursue. My heart was settled on this agency because I feel they are the best to work for and I see an amazing career there. I just hate the fact that I have worked so hard to fail.

Those who succeed failed many times. I will not fail. I will prevail one way or another.

I think the one thing that bothers me so much is the many times I called, including today, I feel I was lied to about my status. I could tell by the way the tone changed in the person’s voice when I asked and the person looked it up. I could tell they did not want to give me the bad news. I feel they did not live up to the Integrity and Courage that this agency prides themselves on. Oh well. I guess I will continue to be open and honest in hopes to not fail again.

At the moment I just feel crushed.

GNF

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